White Cat is home (You may not want to read, I'm just purging my soul)

Just to update on what I started, the White Cat is home. She isn't in good shape and something inside me clenches up when I see her staggering and swollen. I don't feel like its just a cat. I feel like a broke something beautiful, robbed her of the last of the kitten within her. She was so young and bouncy, always hopping about. My husband said she was part rabbit.  No she sways, her head low, jerking around at every sound. She knows she is defensless. I didn't kill her, I distroyed her.

My heart is broken. I hope she will recover more. I am so sorry. I know this isn't the end of the world, but I feel like I destroyed perfect art, like I've been burning painting. She is broken and I can't return to her what she had. I can't even give her back the use of her tail, white fluff that drags uselessly behind her. I can't give her back her bouncyness.

I'm going to have to get used to the guilt. Right now I wish they had put her to sleep. I don't want to rob anything of its life. She is just so miserable, And I am not sure she will get much better. I don't want her to hurt and stagger for her whole life.

Sorry...

Poor little white cat

There is a little white cat who lives on our front porch. She is kind of cute, and super annoying. Despite the annoying part, we feed her.

Yesterday, she got behind my car as I was backing up. I hit her. I was going slow and did not completely run her over, but she was injured. I thought from the way she was shuffling around that I had broke her leg or hip. The very nice Dr. Kelly at Ceglinski's clinic was kind enough to meet us on a Sunday. An x-ray showed that she has dislocated a couple of vertebrae and nothing is broke. I don't know how well she will heal. I Am so sorry.

The surprising thing I learned is that she has cancer. She has a huge tumor in her abdomen and cancer on both of her ears. (I knew they looked odd, but didn't realize). My heart breaks for this little creature. She is dying, she's been hit by a car, and she used to be someone's house pet and now lives on our porch.

So last night, everytime Daniel complained I told him at least he didn't get hit by a car today and found out he had cancer. It does put things in perspective.

The house that had enough

I've been sick, with two sick boys. Can you guess what my house looks like. It's got me thinking about The House Who Had Enough. This was my sister's favorite book when she was little. It's about a very messy little girl whose house gets so tired of being messy it gets up and leaves one peice at a time.

I'm expecting the refridgerator to walk out at any time.

Despite the state of the house, Daniel (the husband) took me to see Couples Retreat. I was really excited to get out (in a still under-the-weather kind of way). It is Wednesday night and we have the theater to ourselves. So Daniel picks our seats, we sit down and I did actually have the thought that it felt really close together. With over a week of sick kids, we hadn't been anywhere near each other.

Than he says "It". The thing that might end our marriage. Daniel says "Hey, you know we could follow the Bro Code."

Now I watch How I Met Your Mother. And I do know a bit about the Bro Code. I quickly surmised that theater Bro Code must be the seat between rule. Because two straight men can't sit next to each other in the theater. I guess the are afraid that whatever they are watching will end in some crazed penis grabbing. I don't know?

So my husband of six years continues to explain that we have been married "long enough" and its now okay for us to sit apart. So, fine. I move anouncing that maybe we have been married "long enough". But I mean something entirely different.  So last night we watched an couples movie about marriage with a seat between. At least I still managed to drink all his soda.

-K

Writing

I am working on three books; a woman's lit that is written, but as a first book needs more editing than I know what to do with; a woman's lit that I recently started; and a fantasy novel I have been working on for two years and only have a prologue that I would let someone read, and only then if they understood I was reworking the magical system.

I don't know why I can't get more out of the fantasy. Its epic, which is a lot of work, but I have four hundred pages hand written as well as a hundred or so pages of notes. I don't think I am stuck in world building. If anything I think I am stuck in tying together a master plot with sub plots that satisfy me.

I feel like I have zero time to write. And writing news articles doesn't help. Its kind of hard to switch between real world and the world in my head. I have the same trouble everyday with two boys who need me to stop and do this or that.

I shouldn't complain. They are only little once. I don't think I mind their interruptions nearly as much as how inept I feel overall.

Updates:

I haven't posted lately. We've been busy. My sister has been in town and before that I can't even remember. But I'll post some pictures and see what actually happened.

Us touring a WWII cargo plane. It was really interesting.

Things blooming around my house.

Ants (and ant eggs)that I had a terrrible time getting out of the mailbox. Believe it or not, I irritated them till they left then sprayed so they wouldn't come back. Husband thinks I'm crazy.

Focal Spring

I could say a lot about what is not done, what looks aweful around my house. It's a disaster inside and out. Instead I am going to share some photos of some of the beauty around here.

Pirate Fighters!

Yesterday, my mom and I took the boys downtown to see the docking of the USS LST 325.We were, of course, late so we missed most of the actual movement. However, the boys still had a great time eating PB&J's at the river and watching the men tying off the boat. There will be tours the next few days. Everyone should go, if for no other reason than that ship looks huge in our river!